Why does marriage counselor have me doing everything?

No, it is not normal. And, you are right he is not a child and the marriage counselor should not be asking you to treat him like one. He is a grown man and he should "Cowboy Up" and take care of his wife and family. He is obviously not in this counseling to save your marriage he is in it to keep from getting blamed for it falling apart. Get a new counselor, if this doesn't work then you may need to set some ultimatums with him. You are worth it and never forget that.